Our 4th of July

We had a wonderful fourth of July this year.
Some of my family and friends were still staying here with us due to the storm that went through here the week before.

The rest of my family came out for a cookout.

All of the kids swam in the pool.

The burgers tasted great.

And thanks to a little pep talk from my sister earlier that morning, I made this 4th of July as memorable as I could, even without Jerome here. (Thank you Jolena)

 What better way to eat popsicles and beat the heat.....swimming in the pool!


Earlier that day Spencer bought some firecrackers with his birthday money.

He set them off while we waited for the REAL fireworks to begin.


Standing barefoot in our front yard, watching the fireworks,listening to our kids run through the water sprinkler....it just didn't feel the same without him standing there beside me with his arm around me.

I decided to send him "a little home" and recorded the fireworks for him to watch over there. I made a video and I know I will always remember this 4th of July just like this.

I love this man.

Every once in a while our youngest daughter receives a message from her daddy.

"Here's my moon tonight...does yours look the same Kaitlyn? Love you Monkey"

She looks forward to these little messages from her daddy and the picture with his moon.



Time is going by fast but at times it feels like it is going slowly.

These cookie brownies we sent him in the beginning of his deployment have been a favorite over there.

He L.O.V.E.S. these brownies!

He shares with everyone and then has a few left over for himself.

A while back I promised to make him a whole box full of these brownies and ship it out to him.

While our kids were at camp I spent the morning making batches and batches of these brownies. After letting them cool, wrapping them in loads of saran wrap and packaging them in a box....I took them to the post office to ship.

The man at the post office getting the box ready for shipping noticed the inside of Jerome's box.

He asked if I minded if he take a peek. Of course I told him I didn't mind and then he smiled and told me how he had never seen the inside of a shipping box decorated the way that I had.

 I told him the kids and I enjoy decorating them for him. And it feels good sending him a little bit more of home.



And as requested from a few of his friends over there, here is the recipe -

 Reese Chocolate Chip Brownies. 

Use a square muffin style pan. Spray with non-stick cooking spray.

Spoon chocolate chip cookie dough into the bottom of each square, then press flat.

Unwrap a Reese cup and place upside down in the center of each square.

 Make your brownie mix according to the directions on the box.

Pour brownie mix into each square until about 3/4 full.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

The brownie squares will look a little moist in the center, but after trial and error I have found that 20 minutes is good. Any longer in my oven and they are burnt brownies:)

 Let cookies cool.

 For packaging, I let the cookie brownies cool COMPLETELY.

 I wrap each one in saran wrap. Then wrap three at a time in a long piece of saran wrap. Then I place several of these brownies wrapped into a ziploc bag.

Horses for Heroes

In May I took our kids to River Cities Therapy and Recreation Center for the Horses for Heroes program. I had found the program through www.operationwearehere.com .

I think deployments are different for reservist families. We don't have all the activities and support groups that you would find near a military base with active duty families.

I just happen to come across the Operation We Are Here website. It felt comforting to read it. To know that I wasn't the only one feeling the way I had felt, alone, isolated and forgotten about. Other than close family and friends we hadn't heard from anyone since Jerome had been deployed in January. No visits to our home and help with things we needed help with that you so often see in other communities....active duty communities. Even the recent book written by Mrs. Biden gives a different feel of what a deployment is like to go through.

I was at Target recently and came across her book. I knew immediately that I wanted to buy it for our girls, especially when I opened the book and the little girl's name in the book was Natalie. I stood there in the children's book section reading it. After reading it I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The book definitely did not resemble the kind of deployment we are going through. Needless to say I put the book back on the shelf.

That is why I am thankful places like, Operation We Are Here exist. I know that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way going through a deployment, and just knowing that gives me comfort. I am also very thankful for the resources they have available for military families. That is how I found the program Horses for Heroes and the Blue Star Families program.

I submitted our name to the Horses for Heroes program and it wasn't very long that I heard from the kind woman that runs the River Cities Therapy and Recreation Center. We scheduled a date for our kids to arrive and I told our kids about it that evening. They were very excited.

This deployment has been tough. It has been tough on all of us. I see sadness in all three of our kids but the one I see it the most from is Spencer. He isn't the same boy since his dad left for deployment. I don't see his genuine smile that often and I don't hear his laughter like I used to. It has been a struggle for him. And that is where I am most thankful for this program. Driving to the stables he kept asking if he had to ride and of course I told him yes because I had signed all three of them up. When we arrived everyone there was kind and friendly. All three kids rode the horses, laughed with everyone there, played with the dogs and felt at home. By the time we left they felt like family. The kids even said that in the car on the way home. Spencer talked all the way home along with Natalie and Katie (something that he doesn't do alot of either). I was happy because that evening the warmth and kindness that was shown to me and my children was beyond amazing. I had seen Spencer laughing and smiling, talking with everyone there about his dad and even joking around with them when he didn't want to ride the horse...especially when they told him he'd have to wear the pink helmet (he and Katie traded because there was NO WAY he was going to wear a pink helmet). On the ride home, the sound of all three kids talking about their evening and getting to ride the horses filled our conversations. The deployment didn't fill their conversations, rather the wonderful evening and the kindness that was shown filled it instead. I am beyond thankful to the woman running this program. I hope that she will know how much this meant to our kids.

While we were there I was told that she had just signed up to be a part of the Horses for Heroes program and that we were actually the first family to use the program.

Thank you River Cities Therapy and Recreation Center for the wonderful evening you gave my children. Thank you for their smiles you gave them, it was good to see the deployment far from their throughts that evening.





Katie was the first of my kids to ride a horse. She was a little nervous at first but warmed up to it fast. In the end she was the one out of the three of them who did the best.


Then it was Natalie's turn. Anyone that knows her knows that this is what she has always wanted to do. She has loved horses since she was two years old. She was excited to get to ride a horse.


It took her a while to get the hang of how to sit on a horse. She kept sliding over to the left of the saddle. Eventually she got it.


Then it was Spencer's turn....after of course he traded helmets with Katie.


He is ducking his head here (what he usually does when I try to get a picture of him)....sorry to say Spencer but you were on a horse in an open field....I don't think you can hide that much.


This.....this is his genuine smile. I was excited to see it.


He was talking about his dad and the deployment to someone here.


And if ever there was a picture that he looks like Jerome in....it would be this one. Jerome gives this same look a lot...exactly.


Even the horse was having a good time...


River Cities is a complete volunteer program. The kids talked about wanting to go help and be a volunteer, they were excited about it. I promised them that we would, they still ask every once in a while. We've been gone a lot this summer, between summer camps, a trip to the beach with my husband's parents, swimming in the pool...time has gotten away from me. I need to check into the time and day again so that I can take my kids to help work at this wonderful place.

Bedtime Stories From Far Away

Before Jerome left I found this book that I knew we needed.

I knew the kids would find comfort in hearing him read them a bedtime story even though he isn't here.

A few days before he left I watched him read this book, record his voice and make this book for our kids.

 January 2012 
 


One night I found Katie snuggled in our bed and listening to her Daddy read her a bedtime story.

 March 5, 2012



This is her favorite page.

She told me she loves how he says, "I love you, you, you".

She sometimes will flip the page back and forth so that he reads this page over and over.



Katie is really the only one who opens this book.

Natalie deals with the deployment by not thinking about it, avoiding the thought of her Daddy being gone at all costs.

Katie opens the book and listens to her Daddy telling her a bedtime story in our bedroom.

It makes Natalie break down whenever she hears her Daddy's voice.

It has been a comfort for Katie.

She will have him read her the bedtime story again and again and again.

The first time I gave it to her was the night he left.

We had said goodbye at the airport earlier that day.

That night we all went to bed.

I was crying in his pillow and I heard a knock at my door.

It was Katie. She was missing him.

She climbed up in bed with me and I surprised her with the book.

She loved it.

We listened to him read it to us over and over that night.

It just feels so good to hear his voice sometimes.

Easter Sunday

We all put on our Sunday best for Easter.

Spencer wanted to wear his uniform in honor of his Dad.

I think he looked handsome.

He gets it from his Dad.

We drove to the church my mom and dad go to.

It was good to be with family on this first lonely holiday without my husband by my side.


We spent the afternoon with my family.

The kids all wore one of my dad's tshirts and played barefoot in the creek after dinner.

I hadn't heard from Jerome. I usually do.

I had a feeling he was in route, but not knowing for sure, I only guessed.

By that evening I still hadn't heard from him.

I decided I didn't want to go home to an empty house.

I stayed at my parents house that night.

I sat out on the front porch with my mom and sisters and enjoyed the day as it turned into night.

The kids made sleeping bags out of blankets and slept on the floor.

It was a great day and I enjoyed it. But there wasn't one second that I wasn't thinking about my husband and wondering if he had made it there yet.

Tie A Yellow Ribbon.

I mailed Jerome a letter in just enough time for him to receive it before leaving his training and heading over to Afghanistan.

He read it on the flight over.

In this letter, I told him that we will tie a yellow ribbon around our old sycamore tree and not take it down until he returns home safe again with us.





The kids tied the yellow ribbon around the sycamore tree.

They have proudly told their friends the meaning behind the ribbon when they come over to visit.

 Every time we leave the house or come home the yellow ribbon is there to greet us.







The long yellow strands look pretty blowing in the wind.

Sometimes after getting our kids on the bus and off to school, I'll sit at the table, have my breakfast, watch the yellow ribbon blowing in the wind outside my window and think of him.

Jump Rope Performance.

Natalie had her jump rope performance at the mall.

She has had several, but this one was one of the big performances.

She did great.

She finished her performance.

She introduced me to some of her friends.

She showed off her baby cousins that were there.

She showed me a few new tricks she learned with her jump rope.
 
She stopped and watched a few men in uniform walk by, a uniform like her Daddy wears now.

She held her jump rope a little tighter, looked at me and said, "Mommy, I wish Daddy could have been here to see me".

 I reminded her that I recorded it for him to see and she told me that she knew but it wasn't the same.

I smiled, hugged her and told her that he will be here for her performances next year....promise.

A Repeat.

It seems our life with deployments seem to repeat at the exact same times.

His last deployment to Afghanistan we traveled to Fort Bragg about this same time.

It was Easter weekend.

Jerome and I did our Easter basket shopping at the PX on base while Gran stayed with the kids at the hotel.

The kids opened their Easter baskets, dressed in Jerome's Army t-shirts, in a hotel on base Easter morning.

Spencer was eight, Natalie five and Katie four.

I just think it is funny how this deployment is repeating itself.

Just as long as it doesn't repeat the length of time he was gone away from home last time.


In several hours, after I get in bed and get some sleep, I will be waking up to the first holiday I will have to do alone without him here.

We will be going to my parent's church, everyone dressed in their Easter best, sitting in a church full of families with daddies and husbands who are there with there family.

I almost don't want to go.....only because I don't want to see all the families enjoying their Easter Sunday together, I don't want to sit in church and feel the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that creeps in when being surrounded by happy families who have their husbands there, their daddies there for their kids. It is a very lonely feeling.

But I know I need to. I know my mother is looking forward to having her family together in church and for Easter dinner at her house afterwards. I know our kids will enjoy playing with their cousins and searching for Easter eggs. I know that I just have to make the best of it....because that is all that I can do.

Fort Polk, day three and four.

DAY THREE

Friday morning Jerome was still at the base and was going to be busy there for several hours. There really wasn't much to do around the base so we decided to spend the day in Alexandria, until Jerome was free to go.

We went to the mall. Spencer picked out a new pair of swim trunks and the girls a bikini. We had lunch and then headed back to Leesville.

We picked Jerome up and then headed to the hotel so he could shower.

We went to dinner, a place Jerome told us about. The kids were all wanting to try crawfish and alligator, so we went to Catfish Junction.




After placing our order about twenty minutes later our waiter came out to let us know that they had run out of crawfish. The kids were disappointed but Jerome promised them he would make sure that he got them crawfish from Louisianna before they left.

We went back to the hotel, put our pajamas on and Spencer and Jerome started doing what they always do.....wrestling.




I know this is one of the things our kids, especially Spencer, one thing that they really miss when Jerome is gone.

DAY FOUR.

Saturday we slept in, had breakfast at the hotel and went swimming.

We had lunch at a local Mexican restaraunt there by the base.













Then we had to go to the base, Jerome had to pick up some things he needed from his room.

He drove around showing our kids different places he had been for training and what he had done.




Since it was a room full of men, the girls and I stayed outside.

Natalie and Katie entertained themselves while we waited by playing more hand games.




We stopped at Alligator Lake and let the kids play on the playground (there REALLY isn't a lot to do around the base).




At first Spencer was sitting with Jerome and I asking us how much longer we had to be here and that he was bored. I guess he gave up on being bored and decided to join Natalie and Katie.




They were all LOVING Jerome pushing them on this spinning thing.

Then it was Jerome's turn...they warned him it would make him dizzy.




Jerome had to sit down when they were finished with him.

Then the kids convinced me to try it out. They weren't kidding about it making you dizzy. I love how Jerome is laughing at me (I was barely standing at this point).




Then later on our way back to our hotel we stopped at a place called Mud Bugs and Jerome picked up some crawfish. We went back to the hotel and Jerome taught them how to peel and eat crawfish.







Katie wouldn't eat it at first but ten minutes later she was sitting at the table with Jerome and Spencer eating the crawfish. I tried one, it was good....but Jerome peeled it for me.

Katie picked out a few and called them her "family" and gave strict instructions that no one was to eat her family of crawfish.

When they were at the end of the bucket of crawfish, Jerome looked at Katie and said, "You know you are about to lose your family". Katie laughed and shared the rest of her crawfish with her Daddy.

Then we went swimming in the pool and later climbed into bed.