Thursday, April 28, 2011

{ the call.... }

The Call

Today we received the call.

The call that I knew was coming, but had hoped that it wouldn't.

The call that is sending my husband to Afghanistan again.

The call that will turn our lives upside down.....again.

We were having a normal day. Jerome had taken the day off to get some things done that he had been needing to. The kids were running in and out of the house barefoot....they were enjoying the weather outside and playing with all the neigbor kids. I was on the phone laughing with April about something that I can't remember now. Jerome walked in the room, looked at me and asked me who I was talking to. He had that look on his face. I hurriedly hung up the phone. We went to our bedroom and that is when he told me, "Amber, that was it.....that was the call".

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But instead I stood there frozen......numb. I wanted to pretend that what he had just told me hadn't really just happened.

He put his hands on my arms and pulled me close to him. I knew he thought I would have cried.....but I was just numb. I wanted to cry, but I just stood there frozen.

Then he said to me, "It will all be OK, we made it through this before, we can do it again. Besides, this time you won't have to worry about me as much. I'll be on a much safer base."

Those words kept repeating over and over in my head, "you won't have to worry about me as much". Then it hit me. I remembered the feeling of going to bed at night, unable to sleep because I was worried about him. How I spent every.waking.moment. trying to function and make it through the day with the "normal stuff" and try to keep my mind distracted and away from all the worry.

Then I cried.

I cried and he held me and promised me it would all be OK.

Then there was a knock on our bedroom door. It was one of our girls, they were wanting Jerome to fix their bicycle. I wiped my eyes, looked at him and smiled, he smiled back and then we opened the door to the normal day we were having before the call.

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